Now that we know Carmelo Anthony’s value in the NBA is a back-up center, a player who has yet to deliver on his potential, a meaningless pick, and unlimited sodas anytime James Dolan attends the Ford Center, the question remains: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED, CLEVELAND?
The teams Anthony was willing to waive his no-trade clause for were few: only the Rockets, Cavaliers, and Thunder were in the running and the Knicks wish list was only “a scoring wing to replace Anthony’s production, short-term contracts, draft assets” and unofficially, to the Rockets’ dismay, “no one named Ryan Anderson.” Congrats Scott Perry! You got one out of three! Or, wait, does Perry actually think that Doug McDermott replaces Anthony’s production? Uh oh! Someone get Phil Jackson on the line, quick!!
With the Rockets unable to get a deal done and left to send Ryan Anderson a “can’t wait to see you at training camp” e-mail, it seemed like the perfect time for the Cavaliers to get into the mix and add a Banana Boat pal that would keep LeBron happy. And, considering the trade the Thunder pulled off, that would have meant, what? Tristan Thompson, Richard Jefferson, and the shittiest pick they have? Or, wait. Maybe not Richard Jefferson. He plays too much defense.
The point is, the Cavs clearly didn’t have to give up Kevin Love to get Carmelo. Shit, offer Cameron Frye and J.R. Smith and you got Carmelo! With LeBron being a huge flight risk after this season, it’s time to lock him down. Trade for Carmelo, sign Dwayne Wade, make Rich Paul the GM, do whatever you can before LeBron takes off, leaving the Cavs with Isaiah Thomas, Jae Crowder, and Kevin Love to fight over the 8th seed and the city of Cleveland struggling to salvage their sudden, collapsing economy.
Sorry, Cavaliers. But you fucked up. Meanwhile, the Thunder fleeced yet another team this off-season. Hats off to them as they dogfight through the stacked Western Conference.